


Can I Stay With You Tonight?

by Jessi_aka_pyro



Category: Game Grumps, Good Game (TV 2017), Good Game - Fandom
Genre: BTW, FOREWARNING, First In The Fandom, Good Game, Hinted anyway, M/M, Nightmares, No other violence, Only seen up to episode 3, There's a slap, mentioned drug use, rylex, watch it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-24 22:37:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12022518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessi_aka_pyro/pseuds/Jessi_aka_pyro
Summary: "Hey..." Alex's voice is soft and quiet with apprehension. "I uhm. Can I... stay in here? I'm sorry."With a heavy sigh, Ryland rubbed a hand down his face, rolling backwards to lay on his back. "Yeah. Why? You okay?"Alex wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly feeling insecure and exposed, nodding slowly. "It's just... really negative in my room right now. I- I can stay on the couch..."But Ryland shook his head, pulling the covers down with one arm, the other going across his face to cover his eyes. "It's fine. Just... hurry up. M'tired."





	Can I Stay With You Tonight?

After a quiet knock, Alex pushed open the door to Ryland's room slowly. Clearing his throat, he shuffled awkwardly, looking from side to side, standing there in a thin light blue shirt and grey boxer briefs, long socks with sharks covering his calves. He shivers slightly in the cool undisturbed room.   
  
Ryland hums, turning over onto his side, blinking blankly up at his roommate through thick brown hair plastered and tangled across his face.   
  
"Alex?" His voice is quiet and rough with sleep.   
  
"Hey..." Alex's is soft and quiet with apprehension. "I uhm. Can I... stay in here? I'm sorry."   
  
With a heavy sigh, Ryland rubbed a hand down his face, rolling backwards to lay on his back. "Yeah. Why? You okay?"   
  
Alex wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly feeling insecure and exposed, nodding slowly. "It's just... really negative in my room right now. I- I can stay on the couch..."   
  
But Ryland shook his head, pulling the covers down with one arm, the other going across his face to cover his eyes. "It's fine. Just... hurry up. M'tired."   
  
Alex immediately moved across the room to get on the bed, curling up to his friend, a smile as Ryland pulled the covers back over, arm curling around Alex's back. "You okay?" He asked in a slurred and tired voice.   
  
Moving more against his chest, Alex nodded, wrapping an arm around Ryland's waist, legs tangling together. "Mhmm. Thanks Ry."   
  
Ryland grunted in response, holding him a little tighter before falling back to sleep. Alex laid curled up to him, socked feet pressed against strong legs, with a smile on his face. This was way better than sitting alone in the living room after a nightmare. One of Ryland taking the team to the winning tournament without him, leaving him behind and alone. He knew he wasn't the strongest member on the team. But he also knew Ryland would never leave him behind.   
  
Alex burrowed further beneath the blankets until all but his hair was peeking out and fell quickly to sleep, Ryland protecting him from all the negativity that could try to get to him throughout the night.   
\----------   
"I don't think they're gonna answer."   
  
Lorenzo sighed throwing his hands down dramatically. "They have to, Sam. I'm their landlord."   
  
"Yeah well. I've been here for like an hour. So. I'm with Sam on this one," commented Ash.   
  
Just then Kamal came up the driveway, texting. "What are you bitches still doing outside."   
  
"Alex and Ryland apparently locked us out."   
  
"Oh Hell nah. My computer is in there. Move, I'll break us in."   
  
Lorenzo stopped him however, withdrawing a key from his pocket. "No need to fear! Or damage my property... for I have as master key!"   
  
Sam looked skeptical as Lorenzo pushed in the key. "Are you sure this is okay? I mean sure you own the lot but this is Ryland and Alex's apartment. Isn't this illegal?"   
  
The man shrugged, turning the lock. "They guilt me into joining the team, I think I can break in when they don't wake up on time."   
  
"If you say so, I had no part in this."   
  
The team made their way inside, unsurprised to find the main area empty. "I'll check Alex's room?" Ash suggested.   
  
"Good idea. I'd rather deal with him than Ryland," replied Sam with a snicker.   
  
Ash made her way to the room, but upon seeing the empty bed, she huffed and turned back towards Sam. "He's not here?"   
  
"So I guess we'll have to wake up Ryland..."   
  
"Hmm nah. He seems like the morning grouchy type. Let's just chill in the living room until he gets up. Or who knows, maybe they're not even home."   
  
Sam shrugged and turned back, letting the other two know as Ash followed. Lorenzo nodded, getting onto the computer to practice some moves as Kamal shrugged and started going through the boy's stuff. Ash made her way to the tv, selecting a channel as Sam got on her personal laptop to Fuck around online.   
  
It wasn't until a few hours later that the team saw the other two members.   
\---------------   
Alex had woken up warm, an arm firmly around his back, holding him in place against Ryland's chest. He grinned and stretched against the man with a jaw popping yawn. Ryland hummed, turning from his back to his side to burrow his face into Alex's neck. The lankier man huffed a tired laugh, gripping Ryland's shirt a little tighter.   
  
"Morning," he greeted, in a raspy voice.

 

Ryland grunted in return, but Alex could feel the smile on his skin. He hummed, running a hand through the soft, rarely free hair, cascading across the pillow they were sharing currently. Alex let his eyes fall back closed, as Ryland returned the gesture by sliding his hands up and down Alex's back in a sleepy pattern.

 

“you hungry?” Alex asked, words slightly slurred. Ryland nodded against him, but as Alex went to pull away, Ryland grunted again, holding him tight against him. Alex couldn't help but laugh, scratching the other man's scalp lightly.

 

“Ry, you gotta let me go if you want me to make something to eat.”

 

“Food can wait,” he replied, sounding determined to keep Alex here in his arms.

 

Alex giggled to himself, letting his eyes close again and settling against Ryland until the other fell asleep once more. He'd have been more than content to stay there if not for the muffled curse he heard coming from the living room.

 

Slowly extracting himself from his sleeping roommate, Ryland made sure to pull the blanket back over Ryland before grabbing the first heavy thing he could find. A plastic stand up fan. Maybe not ideal, but it would work, right? As he got closer to the door, Alex realised he could hear more than that now. I'm fact he could hear multiple people trying to be quiet, moving about his home.

 

He slowly opened the door, raising the fan when…

 

Sam looked up at him from where she was sprawled about the couch, her head in Ash’s lap.

 

“Oh hey Ryla- Alex. Why are you holding a fan?”

 

Alex blinked for a few seconds, hearing Ryland shifting behind him, and calmly put the fan down, shutting the door behind him. He scratched at his wild hair, realizing the fact that he was still in boxers and a t shirt.

 

“Uhm. Why are you here?”

 

Ash looked up with an amused expression, waving nonchalantly. “Remember? You asked us to be here really today. It's almost one dude. Also, pants?”

 

Alex flushed. “Right. Be right back.”

 

He grabbed the door handle behind him, falling back into Ryland's room, letting the door close once more. Ryland stared blearily up at him, cacooning himself in the blanket. “Who you talkin’ to?” 

 

Still a little red, Alex grabbed one of Ryland's discarded sweat pants off the floor and pulled them on, looking around for the other man's jacket as well. The more layers the less exposed he'd feel. “Sam and Ash are here apparently.”

 

Raising an eyebrow at both the admittance and Alex as he pulled on the other's clothes, Ryland sighed in frustration. “How the Fuck did they get in? Are Lorenzo and Kamal here too? What do they want?”

 

Alex shrugged, finally finding the other clothing on Ryland's desk chair, and pulling it on. The jacket dwarfed him in all except the sleeves. He zipped it half way and shoved his hands in the pockets. “I dunno. But you can stay here if you want. I'll deal with them.”

 

“And make me waffles?” Ryland tried with what he imagined to be a dazzling grin.

 

Alex laughed and nodded, heading back for the door. “Yeah sure, Ry. Blueberry or strawberry?”

 

He hummed and rolled to his back over his face with his arm. “Bluuuueberry.”

 

Alex nodded and tied a knot in the pants drawstrings as they started to fall. As if knowing, Ryland added, “When you give those back you better fucking untie that shit,” as Alex slipped through the door again. He laughed softly, choosing not to reply.

 

...only to be immediately corned by Ash, Sam hovering in the back. Alex could see Lorenzo in the dining room on the computer. He really hoped Kamal wasn't hiding around somewhere.

 

“So what were you doing in Ryland's room?” Ash asked, smirking at him.

 

“And aren't those his pants and jacket?” Sam added with a smug smile.

 

Trying desperately not to flush once more, and failing, Alex wiggled his way past the girls, headed towards the kitchen.

 

“First, that's none of your business, second, yes. His clothes are comfy, sue me. And third, how the Fuck did you get in and who's all here?”

 

Ash wouldn't give up. She kept that smug smile on and opened her mouth to respond, but Alex cut her off with an added, “Oh, and keep it down. Ryland is still trying to sleep. He's a pretty light sleeper apparently.”

 

“uhh alright. Anyway, Lorenzo had a key. I got here at eight and Sam, Lorenzo, and Kamal showed up around 9:15 and let me in. We figured you weren't here, but only because we didn't look in Ryland's room.”

 

Alex looked back at her with a bewildered expression. “why the Fuck were you here at eight??”

 

Sam gave him an irritated look in response. “You said to be here early.”

 

Alex shook his head, opening up the kitchen cabinets to pull out the waffle iron and pancake mix. The waffle iron made things into the shape of stars. “Uhh early to me is like noon. Eight is just…. Insane. Sorry we made you wait outside for so long.”

 

Ash sighed, leaning against the entryway to the kitchen. “it's fine. Mixed signals. Are you making breakfast?”

 

“Yeah. Ryland asked me to make waffles since it’s my turn to make breakfast. So uhm. I guess would you guys like some?”

 

“Yes please!” came Lorenzo’s shouted reply from the dining room. Alex winced.

 

Sam nodded with a smile, announcing she'll be playing games in the living room. Ash however, stayed in the kitchen with Alex. “Kamal will probably Bitch if you don't make him any. He went to the store. We wouldn't let him eat any of your food.”

 

Alex groaned softly, getting to work on mixing a Fuck ton of pancake mix apparently. “Kamal was here too?” he asked in a whiny tone. It wasn't that Alex didn't like Kamal, though the kid was certainly quite the negative person, but he'd really rather not have him commenting on Alex's late night trip to Ryland's room. He could already imagine the insults. Not to mention with Ryland's rather insecure ego, Kamal could easily go too far and upset his best friend.

 

As if reading his thoughts, Ash smirk softened, standing closer to Alex. “hey man, don't worry..none of us are gonna tell Kamal about you being in Ryland's room, Kay?”

 

Alex sighed in relief, smiling back at his friend as he got eggs, which would turn the pancake mix into waffle mix. “thanks.”

 

Only the hairs on the back of his arms stood up once more as her smirk easily returned. “just between you and me though, any were you in Ryland's room? With no pants might I add. For at least three hours.”

 

Alex flushed, avoiding Ash’s intimidating gaze. “noneofyoirbuisness,” he mumbled once more.

 

But Ash wasn't having it, and took the bowl from him. “come on, Alex. Just between you and me. I promise, I won't tell anybody.”

 

He sighed impatiently, crossing his arms in the large jacket with a huff. “I just- I had a bad dream, okay? So I asked Ryland if I could stay in his room. It's stupid, and still none of your business.”

 

He took the bowl back forcefully and got to mixing, if maybe a little violently.

 

Ash wasn't quite sure what to say to that admittance and instead, asked if she could help with anything. Alex, pushing the sleeves of the jacket up for the millionth time, asked her to grab the blueberries from the fridge. That she could do.

 

“I'm sorry,” she commented. “I shouldn't have asked. Though in my defense, you didn't really put up much of a fight.”

 

Alex shrugged, long over it, as he wasn't one for keeping grudges, and started pouring the mix into the waffle iron.

 

“it's fine. Not a big deal.”

 

“Can I ask what you were dreaming about though?”

 

He shrugged once more, watching the machine with intensity now, as not to seem too vulnerable in front if his friend. “it's stupid.”

 

“Did you and Ryland already talk about it?”

 

He shook his head, pulling out the first waffle and putting it in a covered pot to keep it warm. He quickly started on the next one.

 

“No. He doesn't usually ask too many questions.”

 

“so you've slept in his room multiple times from nightmares,” Ash clarified.

 

Alex's cheeks felt hot as he shrugged. “I guess.”

 

“Well. If you wanna talk about it, I'm here. And I won't tell the other's.”

 

Alex debated on what to do. On one hand, he desperately did want to talk to Ryland about the dream. But he was afraid the man would laugh at him. Though Ryland had never once made fun of him, Alex still couldn't fight that fear that today might be the day Ryland realised how amazing he was and how much he didn't really need the lanky counterpart of the duo. Alex knew he was odd. That had been apparent since he was a child. He knew a lot of people found him interesting but too weird to really include. Meeting Ryland the three years prior was probably the best decision of his life. After about two years of couch during, Alex could still remember the day Ryland had offered his couch and then never really let Alex leave. Not that he tried too hard to.

 

He couldn't help the tiny smile that crossed his face. It really was a silly dream. And yet somehow, it wouldn't completely leave him either. Maybe talking to Ash could help?

 

“You know, Ryland is my best friend,” he said, conversationally. As if he didn't have a nightmare last night and Ash wasn't trying to pry it out of him.

 

Ash nodded. “that was pretty apparent from the get go. Ya know, When i first met you guys, I thought Ryland was about to punch somebody when you hurt your hand.”

 

A little more color added to his cheeks. “oh uhh sorry about that. I don't usually get angry. And Ry can be… a little over protective.”

 

“a little? That was kind of over dramatic for just a hurt hand if you ask me.”

 

Alex shrugged. “I guess.” he repeated the process with the waffle iron, setting up a third. Three down, at least three to go.

 

Ash stepped closer, idly mixing the bowl a little more. “Alex, what brought this on. For real, man. You can talk to me if you want. I'm not trying to push you but… I don't know. You seem pretty upset dude.”

 

Sighing, Alex burrowed himself in the jacket, huffing to try and blow some of his hair out of his face.

 

“I told you. It was just a stupid dream. I'm fine.”

 

She sighed and nodded. “Want me to leave you alone?”

 

Asked shrugged for the millionth time, and casted her a side glance “if you want. Just… don't tell Kamal about all this okay? I don't want him saying the wrong thing to Ryland. He gets upset when people poke fun at him like that.”

 

“Poke fun at who?”

 

Alex looked up to see his friend towering in the doorway, sleepy but smiling all the same, His tangled hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. Thankfully, Ryland had had the foresight to pull on pants before leaving the room, unlike Alex. He smiled back and started on the fourth waffle. “You. For sleeping in so late,” he laughed, getting a plate down to pile two waffles onto a plate. He handed it to Ryland, along with some syrup. Ryland pouted.

 

“no butter?”

 

Alex only laughed and turned back towards the machine. “we're out.”

 

“awww okay. I'll send you out later.”

 

Alex hummed in response, realising Ash was watching them with amusement, and flushed. “what.”

 

She hummed and grabbed herself a plate,sagging the last two waffles. “hmmm nothing.”

 

Ryland was apparently too tired to notice and simply moved around the two with ease and went to grab an empty glass, only to groan upon opening the fridge. “who the Fuck drank my orange juice?”

 

Lorenzo shouted from behind them, announcing that it was he who drank the juice. Ryland sighed dramatically, and leaned against the cold shelves of the open fridge. “why the Fuck did I think it was a good idea to invite these people into my home,” he asked in a humorous tone. Alex laughed and patted his back.

 

“I can pick some up tonight, if you want?”

 

Ryland nodded, thanking him and insisting that they hide it and “put a lock on the Damn fridge.”

 

Not long after, Kamal returned, Ryland taking back his jacket before hand, and the day proceeded as it normally would, only now with Ash keeping a closer eye on the two roommates. She had some questions… and by the way Sam kept shooting her looks, she was willing to bet so did she.

\-------------

It was three nights later when Alex apparently decided to have another nightmare.

 

It wasn't the same dream, but the same idea. Ryland finding someone new this time, but still, in the end, realising he could do better than Alex and moving on from him, leaving Alex behind and alone.

 

He sat up, tears in his eyes, breathing heavily. “ _ It's okay,” _ he repeated to himself. “ _ Ryland wouldn't leave you like that. He's your best friend.” _

 

And yet, his chest was tight with the fear of neglect and his heart refused to slow down. He debated on  _ not  _ going to Ryland’s room, but after only a minute, that idea was immediately debunked as he quickly got up, stumbling to the other man’s room.

 

They had a conversation much resembling the one before, Alex waking Ryland up, asking to stay, apologizing, offering to stay on the couch, and Ryland refusing each time and pulling the covers down without question. Once Alex was nestled up against him however, back to Ryland this time, an arm wrapped tightly around his waist, while Ryland would surely ask if he’s okay and leave it at that, this time he pressed his lips to the back of Alex’s neck and asked a different questions. Once Alex wasn’t quite prepared for.

 

“You’re dreams are getting worse, aren’t they?”

 

Alex stiffened and desperately grasped for a response.  _ Ryland wasn’t supposed to ask him about them! _ He took a deep breath and shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “What do you mean?”

 

“Just… you’re coming in here more often lately. Should I be worried?”

 

Alex shook his head and burrowed further beneath the blankets. “I’m sorry. I’ll go to the couch next time. I’ll try to not-”

 

“No! That’s not-,” Ryland sighed, pressing his face further into Alex’s hair. “Just…. Look. I overheard some of what you and Ash were talking about the other night. I figured there was a reason you kept coming in here but like… If they’re really that bad, you can always talk to me, Alex. I won’t turn you away or tell you to stop coming in here. If I had a problem with it, I would’ve told you to stop months ago when you first asked to stay with me.”

 

Alex could easily remember that day. About seven or eight months ago now. It was thundering outside. Not that he was scared of thunder, mind you, but when lightning hits a tree right next to your window, causing the breaker to  _ pop _ and then the power goes out,  _ yeah. _ You’re gonna get a little scared. Alex had screamed involuntarily and Ryland had come running, asking him what happened. Alex was shaking and asked Ryland to get him out of there. Without a second thought, Ryland had pulled Alex up and guided him to the other bedroom. That shit was scary man.

 

“I’m sorry,” Alex whispered, holding tight onto Ryland’s arm around his waist. He didn’t know why he was acting like this. Ry was just trying to help. And Alex was being ridiculous about it. It was stupid. Unrealistic. It wouldn’t happen. And yet the idea of telling Ryland he was scared of losing him left his frozen and terrified, unable to move. Ryland sighed, and rubbed his thumb softly against Alex’s slightly exposed hip.

 

“Don’t be. You don’t have to tell me. But, Alex, I… I’m worried about you. I know you haven’t been sleeping well this past month. Not only from the nights you come in here, but from the way you’ve been acting too. If coaching the team is getting too difficult, we can take a break, ya know. The team would understand.”

 

“No! I love coaching you guys!”

 

“Things you love can get stressful too,” Ryland reminded. Alex sighed, relaxing more against his friend. He knew this. And yeah okay so coaching did sometimes get a little tiring. But he really didn’t think that was the issue. But Alex could certainly see where Ryland would get that assumption from.

 

Closing his eyes, Alex tucked further into Ryland’s arms and shook his head. “It’s really not that. I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. I… I can’t talk about the dreams right now though. I… hope that’s okay…?” He asked, bottom lip trapped between his teeth. Alex reached up to play with his necklace nervously.

 

He felt Ryland tighten his grip around Alex, and pull his legs further between his. “Of course that’s fine. You can tell me whenever you want. Even if that means never. I just don’t want you to be sad, okay?”

 

“Will you make me an omelette tomorrow morning?”

 

Ryland laughed. “Will that make you happy?”

 

Nodding, Alex grinned, adding a, “Yes, with bacon on it, it will, please.”

 

“Okay, then one omelette, coming up innnn like ten hours.”

 

Alex giggled and closed his eyes again, sighing as Ryland settled against his back. ‘ _ See?’  _ Alex thought to himself. ‘ _ Ryland isn’t going to leave me.’ _ “Goodnight, Ry.”

 

“Mm. Night, Alex.”

\----------------------------

 

Sam and Ash came over that morning, but thankfully at a more decent time. Alex opened the door letting them in, once again wearing Ryland’s sweat pants. Though a different pair. Ryland was in the kitchen finishing up their breakfast.

 

“Hey, I didn’t think we were practicing today?”

 

“We’re not!” Sam grinned, plopping down on the couch. “But we just figured you guys would be more interesting than staying at home,” Ash added, taking the other end of the couch. But not before giving Alex a pointed look, directing his gaze to the sweat pants. Alex flushed but flipped her off, heading in the direction of the kitchen.

 

“You know, you two can’t just keep coming over, acting like you live here. What if one of us aren’t home one day when you break in?” Ryland asked from the stove. Sam and Ash both laughed in response. Ryland muttered a quiet  _ “Rude,”  _  beneath his breath, causing Alex to laugh.

 

Getting the plate ready, Ryland handed Alex his promised omelette, with an affectionate hand in the curly mess Alex called hair. Alex grinned in response, a higher pitched “Thank you!” Escaping him. Sam whined from her spot on the couch. “Where’s my breakfast!?”

 

Ash chimed in with her own need for food. Ryland sat next to Alex with a glass of orange juice, pushing a cup of tea towards Alex and looked at them with a bored expression. “At the store.”

 

Alex shamelessly took pleasure in the warm feeling he got as he drank his tea, giggling as Sam and Ash complained about the unfairness of it.

 

“But last time you and Alex fucked, Alex made us breakfast! Why aren’t  _ yoou _ ??”

 

Alex froze and Ryland nearly spit out his drink over Alex’s food. Ash stared at Sam with wide eyes before bursting out into laughter.

 

“We didn’t  _ fuck _ ,” Ryland insisted. Alex nodded his head quickly. He felt hot suddenly, and could see red creeping on Ryland’s cheeks as well.

 

“Well it sure looked like it, what with tall and dorky over there coming out in boxers and messy hair,” Sam added, smirk in place.

 

“We were just  _ sleeping _ you asshole.”

 

“Plus Ryland isn’t gay,” Alex added.

 

Ash’s eyes widened as she looked over to Alex, raising an eyebrow. “And you are?”

 

He felt his face heat further under her scrutiny. “N-no. I’m… I don’t know. Pan I guess? It doesn’t matter. We weren’t doing anything.”

 

Ryland nodded, grabbing Alex’s hand from beneath the table. “Leave him the fuck alone, Ash. And,  _ Sam _ , mind your damn business. What we do doesn’t concern you.”

 

Ash had the decency to look guilty, but Sam, in her typical fashion, got a little heated. “ _ Excuse me? _ I wasn’t serious. I was fucking  _ kidding, Ryland _ . You don’t have to be such a dick about it.”

 

“Well you didn’t have to be so fucking Rude and nosey.”

 

Alex bit the inside of his cheek, squeezing Ryland’s hand. He could feel Ash’s eyes on him. “Ryland, it’s not that big-”

 

“No, It’s fucking bullshit. She has no fucking right to be coming into  _ our _ apartment and questioning what  _ we _ do. Even if we  _ were _ fucking it’s none of her fucking business.”

 

“Yeah but, Ry she was just-”

 

“Don’t try and speak for me, Alex. Ryland is just being a damn  _ prick _ right now because he can’t take a  _ joke _ .”

 

At that Ryland stood up, letting go of Alex’s hand and glaring across the room at Sam. “Don’t you fucking talk to him like that!”

 

“Oh,  _ I’m sorry, _ was I insulting your boyfriend again? Or are you just scared he can’t defend himself?”

 

“Sam, maybe you shouldn’t-” Ash tried to interject, but Ryland cut her off.

 

“Why don’t you  _ shut the fuck up. _ What are you even doing here? Are you really going to start making gay jokes? After getting all butt hurt over Kamal making fun of you last month? You’re the one being a  _ dick _ right now, Sam.”

 

Alex stood up, putting a hand on Ryland’s shoulder. “Ry, Can we calm down for just-”

 

The man jerked away, glaring at Alex. “Don’t  _ side with her! _ She’s being a fucking asshole to you! Why are you always like this!?”

 

Alex blinked, trying not to appear hurt from Ryland pulling away from him. “Like what?”

 

“Like-” Ryland gestured at him and then over to Sam with a frustrated huff. His hair was sticking up at odd angles in the loose ponytail it was in, making him appear more flustered. “Like you don’t matter! You need to stop letting people walk all over you and stand up for yourself! You act like a fucking baby sometimes.”

 

“A baby? Ryland… You don’t mean that.” Alex crossed his arms around himself insecurely. He wasn’t sure what Ryland was trying to say but he was sure he didn’t want to hear it. Segments from his nightmares popped out at him.  _ Was Ryland finally realising how weird and different Alex was? _

 

Ryland rolls his eyes, gesturing again. “Yes I do! Like right now! She’s fucking making fun of you and you’re doing  _ nothing _ ! It’s just- Pathetic and-  _ fuck  _ not Pathetic but like-”

 

“Like what,” Alex repeated. “Tell me, since I’m apparently a  _ ‘pathetic baby.’ _ ”

 

_ “I didn’t mean it like that. _ Just like- Like when someone says something mean to you, you just  _ take it _ and move on, like it doesn’t matter! And that’s just- That’s stupid! You don’t defend yourself! You don’t do anything! You act like it doesn’t even matter!”

 

Alex couldn't for the life of him figure out where this was coming from, but he shook his head anyway. “That’s because it  _ doesn’t  _ matter. I don’t care what other people think of me, Ry.”  _ Just you _ . “Why would I care? Why would I fight with them when I could just walk away?”

 

“Well that’s fucking  _ stupid! _ People won’t stop being mean to you if you won’t stand up for yourself!”

 

Alex shrugged, looking down. He wondered what the girls were thinking of this fight. “You’re not mean to me.”

 

Ryland let out a frustrated groan, rolling his eyes. “That’s not the point,  _ Alex. _ Sam was being a  _ bitch _ and you’re over here acting like a scared housewife.”

 

“I wasn’t-” Sam tried but Ash quickly covered her mouth. The boys didn’t acknowledge it.

 

“First a  _ pathetic baby  _ and now a  _ scared housewife _ ? Is that really how you see me? Someone you need to protect and take care of because I'm too incompetent to take care of myself? I’m a grown adult,  _ Ryland _ . I can take care of myself.”

 

“Is that why you come into my bedroom every fucking month, asking to sleep with me and crying from a  _ nightmare _ !?”

 

They both froze and Ryland’s eyes widened as Alex’s narrowed down to slits. Tears pricked at his eyes, but Alex didn’t dare wipe them away and risk appearing as  _ weak _ as Ryland apparently thought he did.

 

“ _ Fuck.  _  Alex, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say-”

 

Alex pulled back from the hands Ryland was reaching towards him. “I think you said  _ enough. _ ”

 

“Alex, I’m sor-”

 

“You wanted me to stand up for myself, so I am, I’m leaving,” Alex said, heading for the door. Ryland tried to grab his arm, but Alex jerk away, nearly knocking over a lamp. “ _ DON’T  _ Touch me!”

 

He managed to make it towards the door without crying, but as he shoved on his tennis shoes, foregoing socks, and threw the door open, one did manage to fall. He turned around, meeting Ryland’s defeated gaze and said, “You’re being really fucking mean,” before slamming it shut behind him as he stormed down the sidewalk.

 

Inside, Ryland stared at the shut door, unable to think of what to do. Sam was staring at Ryland with a mixture of regret and guilt. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen,” She said in a quick, scared voice.

 

That seemed to snap Ryland from his spot, as he looked away suddenly, muttering, “It’s fine,” and made a beeline for his room. He slammed the door shut behind him with the same intensity as Alex did as he left. Ash was pretty sure she saw his back shuttering, and sure enough, she could hear a muffled sob from the other side of the door. She quickly grabbed Sam’s arm, dragging her towards the door.

 

“We need to go find Alex and fix this.”

 

Sam nodded, still looking guilty. “I was really just teasing. I didn’t think he’d react like that.”

 

“Well getting defensive didn't help ether.”

 

“Yeah but he didn’t need to-”

 

“It doesn’t matter, Sam. We did this.”

 

“Right,” She affirmed, letting Ash drag her out the door.

\----------------------

He’d only managed to make it maybe ten steps from the door before Alex had started crying. He and Ryland had never had a fight like that before. He didn’t even know where any of that  _ came from _ . He started running, to get farther away from their fight, and rounded the corner quickly, wishing he’d brought a jacket to hide in.

 

Finally making it to the park around the corner and down the street, Alex collapsed onto a bench with a gasp. He was sure Ryland hated him now. Or maybe not  _ hated him _ , but there was no way Ryland didn’t see him as the weird pathetic baby he apparently was. He wasn’t even mad, not really. He more felt  _ betrayed, _ and  _ defeated _ .

 

Vision now hindered with  _ emotion _ , Alex pulled his knees up,  _ like a child would,  _ and attempted to muffle his sobs into his knees.

 

He didn't know what to do now. Why did he walk out? If he'd just kept a rational head, he and Ryland could have  _ talked it out _ , or if he'd just left it alone Ryland would never have  _ yelled at him _ , and everything would be  _ fine _ , and he wouldn't be out here  _ crying _ right now,  _ like a baby. _

 

Maybe Ryland was right. Maybe Alex was  _ a baby,  _ or a  _ scared housewife. _ After all, Ryland couldn't have just come up with those analogies on the spot. There had to be some connecting root somewhere. It had to have been the  _ nightmares. _ Alex hadn't thought Ryland minded. Not when the man had so willingly let him in his bed, and certainly not after last night's confession.

 

Ryland was his forever. But now Ryland wanted nothing to do with him. In just five minutes, Alex had managed to accomplish one of his biggest fears. Ryland was going to move on and leave him behind. Thick sobs tore from his throat, leaving him feeling raw and abused.

 

A hand suddenly pressed to his back, causing Alex to jump with a shout.

 

It was Ash, moving to sit on one side of him, Sam flanking the other side.

 

Alex gasped back another sob, and stiffened, trying to pull himself together. He wouldn't want them seeing him like like  _ a baby. _

 

“Alex… I'm really sorry,” Sam started. “I shouldn't have joked like that. I didn't know Ryland was going to get so upset about it.”

 

He shrugged, still wiping at his face. At least he'd stopped inhaling shadow breaths of air.

 

Ash kept her hand on his back, rubbing slightly. As much as Alex wanted to yell at her to stop, he couldn’t deny that it didn’t feel good. Plus he was honestly exhausted from fighting with Ryland. He hadn’t fought with someone like that in…

 

“Hey… don’t start crying again, man. It’ll be okay. I’m sure you and Ryland have fought before, right?” Ash was trying to meet his eyes, but at the confirmation that  _ hey we fucking fought _ his chest tightened again as tears built up again.

 

Alex shook his head, struggling to take deep breaths. “N-no. Never.”

 

“Never?” Sam repeated in bewilderment.   
  
“W-well I mean. Like. We’ve gotten in arguments and- and disagreements, but we’ve never… He’s never…  _ been mean to me _ .”

 

Alex sucked in a sharp breath, holding back more tears, pushing his face back into his knees. They didn’t need to see him like this. No one did. He should just leave.

 

Ash rubbed his back more, looking over at Sam with worried eyes. Alex was always so happy go lucky. Then she thought back to Ryland and sighed. They shouldn’t have left him alone. “Sam, go check on Ryland, okay?”

 

Same shook her head. “What? No! He hates me!”

 

“I’m sure he hates himself more right now. We shouldn’t have left him. I’ll stay here with Alex. Go please.” Same sighed but nodded, getting up to go back to the apartment where everything went down.

 

Ash and Alex sat in silence as Alex gasped and shuddered, pulling himself together only to tear back down again. She felt bad, seeing him like this. She wished there was more she could do for them. Even if she didn’t know, she could at least try.

 

Ash got onto the ground, kneeling, and tried to peer up at Alex through his knees. “Hey,” She said in a soft voice. “Alex. Look at me, please.”

 

Rubbing at his face, Alex did as she said, looking miserable and exhausted. Ash sighed and got back on the bench, pulling Alex to her chest to pet at his hair. “Hey man. It’ll be alright, okay? You and Ryland will talk it out and you’ll be right as rain.”

 

“But he hates me now,” was Alex’s defeated reply.

 

“Shh no he doesn’t. Why do you think that? He just got a little carried away with his anger.”

 

Alex shook his head, pushing off of Ash to stare at the ground. “No. He really hates me now. He just- He thinks I’m  _ pathetic _ . He hates me.”

 

“Alex.” Ash lowered her head to stare at Alex as if he was an idiot. “You know Ryland isn’t the best with words. He does not think you’re pathetic. He was just really angry, okay? Now that doesn’t excuse what he said, but I can promise he doesn’t hate you. Why don’t you come back and talk to him, huh? Then he can tell you himself.”

 

“Should I- Should I tell him about my nightmares?”

 

Ash was silent for only a minute before grabbing Alex’s hand and meeting his eyes. “Only you can really answer that, Alex. But yes, I think you should. If you think it will help. I won’t pry but… I think it would help. If you’re ready to forgive what he said.”

 

Alex nodded his head immediately. “Of course I forgive him! He… he’s not a mean person. He didn’t mean to be mean to me…Are you sure he doesn’t hate me?”

 

“Alex, I’m positive. I don’t think Ryland can hate you. Not with how close you two are.”

 

She rubbed her thumb across the top of Alex’s hand and nodded her head back towards the apartment. “Ready to go back? Think you’re ready enough to talk to Ryland?”

 

He nodded again, standing up slowly. He stared at the ground, squeezing her hand. “Thanks… Ash. You didn’t have to come after me. I shouldn’t have ran off.”

 

Ash shrugged. “It’s fine dude. You held it together way better than I would’ve. Now c’mon. I hope Sam is handling him well.”

\------------------------

Sam was not handling it well.

 

“Ryland, come  _ on _ . Please let me in.”

 

A loud thump sounded on the door and thudded to the floor. “Go the fuck away! Get out of my apartment!”

 

“Dude, come on.  _ Please _ . I’m begging you here. I’m not leaving until you talk to me. I want to apologize but I can’t if I can’t see your face. Would Alex want you acting like this?”

 

At that the door flew open and a tear stained and red faced Ryland was glaring at her with the fore of a billion suns. “What the fuck do you know about what Alex would want? If you hadn’t fucking said anything then I wouldn’t have been an  _ idiot _ and  _ fucked up _ and we wouldn’t be having this conversation!”

 

Sam looked unimpressed and glared right back. “I said I was apologizing. I don’t know what more you want me to do, Ryland. Ash is talking to Alex right now. You never get this angry! Can you just calm down please so I can help you fix this?”

 

“I am cALM.”

 

“RYLAND.”

 

A loud crack sounded as Sam’s Palm connected with the side of Ryland's face. He stared at her, shocked. “Did you just fucking hit me?”

 

“Yeah, I did. Now can we have a rational conversation?”

 

With a deep breath, Ryland nodded, saying, “yeah. I guess,” as he sat on the floor, cross legged and looking down. “Sorry i yelled.”

 

Sam shrugged and sat next to him. “Sorry i hit you.”

 

After a few moments in silence, Ryland pushed some hair behind his ear, glancing up at Sam nervously. He bit his lip and looked away.

 

“What?” she urged, bumping shoulders with the larger man.

 

With another sigh, Ryland resigned, by clearing his throat and asking, “What did Alex say?” while staring intently at his knees.

 

“Well. I didn't stay for long but… I'm not gonna lie. He's pretty upset, man.”

 

“of course he's upset, I yelled at him.A-And I made fun of him. I was so… I was so  _ mean. _ He probably hates me right now.”

 

Sam rolled her eyes. “I think you and I both know Alex doesn't do the whole ‘i hate you’ thing very well. That man couldn't even make a child cry.”

 

Ryland huffed a laugh. “I guess that's true.”

 

“So why don't you go find him and apologize, huh? Make it shown that you care about him and you want to make things better.”

 

“What would i even say to him? Usually Alex is the one to help me apologize to people. I don't know how to do this on my own.”

 

“Well how did you do it before Alex?”

 

Ryland flushed slightly and looked down again. “I uhh I didn't. I kind of just ignored the issue until it either resolved itself or blew over.”

 

“Ryland, that isn't good.”

 

“I know! I know that! I-" he winced and looked up at Sam. “Fuck. Sorry. I'll stop shouting.”

 

“it's okay. But hey! Look! You just said sorry! Without Alex. See? You can apologize to him no problem.”

 

“yah but i think this needs a little more than just ‘sorry’. It needs beers. And groveling.”

 

“hmm true. Lots of groveling. I see now why Alex is always stoned. You're a lot of work, man. In a good way though.”

 

Ryland hummed in confirmation but rolled his eyes.

 

A loud  _ Ding  _ sounded and Sam's phone lit up. She read the message quickly, before setting it back down and then clapping with a demanding, “Okay! So this is the plan.”

 

Ryland glanced the device before pulling his attention back to Sam, suddenly exhausted and wary of what she had to say.

 

“Ash and Alex are on their way back. Ash and I can stay in the living room so you two aren't alone, but you and Alex are going to talk it out in your room. And I'm not letting you guys out until you've stopped arguing. Kay?”

 

“What!?” No! You can't do that! This is  _ my _ apartment! Fuck this.”

 

Sam quickly jumped up and got in front of Ryland as he tried to push past. “Nu uh. This is the only way. You two are leaders of this team and so help me god, I will not let you two ruin bloodmatch for me.”

 

“Oh, so you don't even care. This is all about the game. Then you can go and-”

 

“I do care about you guys. But i also care about winning. So yeah, I'm a little more concerned about that. But if i didn't care about you guys, I damn sure wouldn't be here right now.”

 

“What the Fuck ever, Sam. You're just-”

 

“Ryland! Do i have to hit you again!?”

 

Rolling his eyes, Ryland crossed his arms with a huff, mumbling, “no,” as she glared at him.

 

“Okay then. I won’t lock you in your room. But you guys are talking whether you like it or not. It’s too late to run away anyway, THey should be here any minute.”

 

“I could jump out a window.”

 

“ _ Ryland. _ ”

 

“Ugh God! Fine! We’ll  _ talk _ or whatever! But you two aren’t staying here.” He pushed past her, to flop down onto the couch. Ryland grabbed a controller with an annoyed expression and turned on the game system. Only For Sam to snatch the controller from his hand with a firm. “No way,” as He called out, “Hey!”

 

“I don’t think so. You’re not playing anything until you guys have made up.”

 

“You’re not my mom.”

 

“No, but I am your tank. And if you want to keep me, you’re going to make up with your best friend, got it?”

 

Just then the door opened with a quiet knock. Ash peeked in, immediately locking eyes with Sam who then gestured to a defeated looking Ryland, staring angrily at the controller still in Sam’s hand.

 

Ash walked further in, Pulling in Alex behind her. His tear stained face was locked solely on the ground. “Hey, Ryland, look who I found,” Ash said warily. She wasn’t really sure of how to proceed.

 

Ryland however, didn’t pay attention to her as he looked up and saw his friend. He gulped, expression immediately softening to guilt and insecurity as he once again took in how much he’d fucked up. “Hey, Alex,” he said softly. Alex shivered, letting go of Ash’s hand and wrapping his arms around himself.

 

“Hey.”

 

Ryland stood up suddenly, but didn’t know what to do next.

 

Ash stood behind Alex, placing a hand on his shoulder and whispered in his ear before grabbing Sam by the elbow. “Okay! S we’re leaving no! Have fun you two.” Despite Sam’s protests, Ash dragged her from the room. The slamming of the door caused both of them to jump.

 

Once they were gone, the room was quiet. Alex staring at the floor and Ryland staring at Alex. Ryland desperately searched for something to say. He couldn’t just say ‘I’m sorry’. But he had to say  _ something. Anything.  _ “I don’t think you’re pathetic.”  _ NOT THAT. _

 

Alex stiffened, looking up sharply. “What?”

 

“I-I mean-” Ryland huffed and pushed a hand over his hair, looking away. “I didn’t mean that. Or well, I did. I don’t think that. But I was trying to think of something else to say. Not that.  _ Fuck _ . Sorry.”

 

A hint of a smile appeared on Alex’s face, for less than a second, but it was enough to loosen the tight clench in Ryland’s chest, if only a little. “I’m kind of a mess right now.”

 

Alex shook his head, keeping his arms crossed. “I think we both are.”

 

His voice was soft and scratchy. Ryland felt horrible for making his friend cry.  _ And oh look. There’s that chest thing again. _

 

Ryland looked down, biting his lip. He had to say something. And not mess up. “I wanted to apologize. For earlier.”

 

Alex nodded, looking down as well. “Me too.”

 

“What?” Now it was Ryland’s turn to snap his head up. “Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do anything.”

 

“Of course I did. I made you angry. And- And I shouldn’t bother you so much. I know I’m  _ weird _ and stuff and-”

 

“Alex, stop.” Ryland had walked closer to Alex, now only about a foot and a half separating them. Alex looked up into Ryland’s dark eyes. Ryland shook his head. “I’m not mad at you. I was never mad at you. Sam just pissed me off and I over reacted. And then lashed out at you. You don’t have to be sorry, Alex.”

 

“But- You got mad and started shouting and I was sure that-”

 

Grabbing his friend’s shoulder, Ryland shook his head again. “Nope. Still not your fault.  _ I’m _ sorry. I was mean and I said shit I shouldn’t have. I didn’t mean any of it. I was pissed off and wanted to yell at something.” He moved up to wipe a tear track off, frowning. “I’m sorry I made you cry…”

 

Alex grabbed hold of Ryland’s hand, smiling slightly down at it. He shrugged. “It’s okay.”

 

“So we’re good?”

 

Alex’s smile dropped though he kept hold of Ryland’s hand. “Yeah. But… I need to talk to you about something.”

 

He led Ryland back to the couch and sat down. Ryland sat down beside him, a worried expression on his face. “What is it, man?”

 

Alex took a deep breath, closing his eyes and fisting his hands into the legs of the sweat pants he was wearing. He could do this. Looking back up at Ryland quickly, Alex huffed. “It’s about my nightmares. I want- I wanna tell you about them.”

 

Ryland nodded, taking Alex’s hand again. “You can tell me. You don’t have to though.”

 

“No, I want to.” Alex stared at the bong on the table longingly. He felt the urge to get fucking rekt before he tried to explain the silly dreams that had been plaguing him for the past few months, but knew nothing good would come of that. It was honestly for the best to stay away from that right now. He needed to be clear headed right now. If Ryland could be strong enough to apologize to him then so could he. Ash’s leaving words ran through his head once more.

 

“Don’t be afraid to tell him. Ryland will love you regardless, you know that,” she had said. And ALex knew she was right. He squeezed Ryland’s hand, smiling when the man squeezed back.

 

“They’re kind of stupid. WHen I think about them now it’s really silly. But…”

 

“When they happen it seems real,” Ryland finished for him. Alex nodded. Turning more towards his friend, Ryland sat cross legged on the couch, patiently waiting for Alex to talk. The thinner man stared at their clasped hands.

 

“I uhm. I dream sometimes that you leave. Like you realise how weird I am. And then you say something mean and leave me alone again.”

 

Ryland rubs his thumb over Alex's knuckles with a frown. “Alex, I'd never leave you.”

 

“I know.. But in my dreams you  _ do.  _ And I don't know why! You just… leave.”

 

“Are they always like that?”

 

“No.” Alex sighs, and looks back down, picking at his pants. “Sometimes you yell at me and kick me out. Other times you just ask me to leave. But they always end with us not being friends.”

 

“Well that's not gonna happen.” Ryland states this as a fact, pulling Alex's hand to his chest. “I won't let it happen.”

 

However, with a sigh, Alex shakes his head. “It happened today.”

 

Ryland bites his lip and looks away, nodding. He had a point. “I may have said some shitty things today, But Alex, I never wanted to stop being your friend. And I never will. I’m really sorry I yelled at you and said mean things…” He looked back to Alex, features soft and unsure. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

 

“Ry… I already forgave you. It’s okay.” Alex smiles at his friend, squeezing his hand again. “I know they’re just silly dreams. Not reality. That’s why I always go to see you after they happen. Because I know the real you won’t leave me.”

 

Laughing slightly, Ryland closes his eyes, pushing their foreheads together. “Friends forever, right?”

 

A small giggle escapes Alex’s lips and as Ryland opens his eyes, Alex is looking directly at him, pupils locked. “Forever, man.”

 

They stay like that for a moment longer before Alex pulls back with a thoughtful expression. “Wanna get some beers?”

 

Ryland shrugs, nodding towards the fridge. “I think we have some here. Unless you wanted a different brand?”

 

Alex shakes his head, leaning against Ryland with a sigh as he reaches for the bong discarded on the table. He doesn’t however let go of Ryland’s hand. “Nah that’s cool. I kind of wanted to stay here with you anyways.”

 

Smiling amusedly down at Alex as he lights up, Ryland shakes his head, reaching for the controller Sam had earlier taken hostage. “You fucking sap.”

 

“You love it.”

 

“Shut the Fuck up.”

 

“Nah.”

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy!!! Thanks for reading! This is a little peice I've been working on for a few days. It was supposed to be roughly about 1k words lmao Rip. Oh well! Hope you guys like it :) I don't really like it but.... eh it could've been worse. Hope everyone is enjoying the show so far!
> 
> UPDATE: Aw geeze guys! This story is doing much much better than I predicted xD Idk if it's because there are only like five rylex fics out rn or what but thank you all so much for the support! Hopefully I can crank out some more that makes people happy :) Hope everyone has a fantastic day!!


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